Is it sad that I'm more excited to hang out with Amanda's friends on Friday night than my own??
People that I don't really know are so much more exciting than people I know well.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Last day and a bit in my apartment.
It's been a non-great year, but I still love this apartment.
The view is incredible, I had some fun times in here, and it's huge!
I remember spending a few Friday nights alone, watching movies or Misfits or Skins alone with the lights all turned off while lying on the couch.
Or when I was coming back totally wasted and opened the door, dropped my pants, and face planted into bed, happily waking up in my awesome bed at my OWN home.
I don't think I'll miss this apartment. Unfortunately the bad times kind of ruin this apartment's track record for me.
Moving out is like moving on. From now on, I'm not going to dwell on the past with Zach.
I'm over it. His life no longer matters to me. I'd like for him to succeed and do well, but I really don't want any part of it.
We said we'd be friends, but once we moved to our own cities, I felt free. No more depending on another person just to be disappointed in the end. And he also didn't make an effort to be friends either, so it's only fair that it ended this way.
Let's just leave it at the fact that my 2 and a half year relationship was a learning experience. I laughed, loved, cried, yelled, everything you can expect in a relationship. I thought I would be with him forever, but I'm glad some sense eventually came to me. He didn't treat me well for the last year. He took advantage of the fact that I was there, willing to love him even though he didn't love himself, even though he didn't try, even though he allowed himself to fail at EVERYTHING. He thought buying me things would save our relationship, but I don't care about the material. I poured my heart into that boy and got nothing in return. It's what's in the heart and the soul that counts. When his soul stopped trying, I knew I had to get out. Thankfully an opportune moment came, and I was able to embrace what I needed to do. I GTFO.
Thanks for the memories, although when I look back on it, the negative ones seem to outweigh the positives. Thank you for teaching me that I should look after myself first. Thank you for showing me that I'm only 20 years old (soon to be 21) and am too young for this kind of commitment. Thank you for making me realize I don't need the approval of a man to feel confident.
I had incredibly low self-esteem and body issues when I dated him. In my opinion, if the person you're with makes you feel worse about yourself and doesn't help make you feel beautiful in every way, something's wrong. After we broke up, my confidence skyrocketed. I've never felt so powerful, and from that I came out of my shell and became a more outgoing person.
Thank you for making me realize that I shouldn't have to settle. I'm a princess, or so my name tells me, and I deserve to be treated like one.
So as Lauren Conrad would say, 'They teach us to forgive and forget. So, I forgive you, and now I'd like to forget you.'
And in my words, 'Thanks, but holy freaking good riddance.'
It's been a non-great year, but I still love this apartment.
The view is incredible, I had some fun times in here, and it's huge!
I remember spending a few Friday nights alone, watching movies or Misfits or Skins alone with the lights all turned off while lying on the couch.
Or when I was coming back totally wasted and opened the door, dropped my pants, and face planted into bed, happily waking up in my awesome bed at my OWN home.
I don't think I'll miss this apartment. Unfortunately the bad times kind of ruin this apartment's track record for me.
Moving out is like moving on. From now on, I'm not going to dwell on the past with Zach.
I'm over it. His life no longer matters to me. I'd like for him to succeed and do well, but I really don't want any part of it.
We said we'd be friends, but once we moved to our own cities, I felt free. No more depending on another person just to be disappointed in the end. And he also didn't make an effort to be friends either, so it's only fair that it ended this way.
Let's just leave it at the fact that my 2 and a half year relationship was a learning experience. I laughed, loved, cried, yelled, everything you can expect in a relationship. I thought I would be with him forever, but I'm glad some sense eventually came to me. He didn't treat me well for the last year. He took advantage of the fact that I was there, willing to love him even though he didn't love himself, even though he didn't try, even though he allowed himself to fail at EVERYTHING. He thought buying me things would save our relationship, but I don't care about the material. I poured my heart into that boy and got nothing in return. It's what's in the heart and the soul that counts. When his soul stopped trying, I knew I had to get out. Thankfully an opportune moment came, and I was able to embrace what I needed to do. I GTFO.
Thanks for the memories, although when I look back on it, the negative ones seem to outweigh the positives. Thank you for teaching me that I should look after myself first. Thank you for showing me that I'm only 20 years old (soon to be 21) and am too young for this kind of commitment. Thank you for making me realize I don't need the approval of a man to feel confident.
I had incredibly low self-esteem and body issues when I dated him. In my opinion, if the person you're with makes you feel worse about yourself and doesn't help make you feel beautiful in every way, something's wrong. After we broke up, my confidence skyrocketed. I've never felt so powerful, and from that I came out of my shell and became a more outgoing person.
Thank you for making me realize that I shouldn't have to settle. I'm a princess, or so my name tells me, and I deserve to be treated like one.
So as Lauren Conrad would say, 'They teach us to forgive and forget. So, I forgive you, and now I'd like to forget you.'
And in my words, 'Thanks, but holy freaking good riddance.'
Thursday, August 25, 2011
This is absolutely gorgeous. It makes me want to get married, as silly as that may seem.
nick+maria • england wedding from Paperback Weddings on Vimeo.
Problems suddenly seem insignificant when you’re talking to someone and they tell you that they’ve seen 4 of their friends die.
I didn’t even know what to say. What are my problems? I don't know if I want to be an engineer, my parents sometimes get on my nerves, I eat too much junk food... Those things don’t even compare. To me, they seem ridiculous in comparison to the death of loved ones, especially in front of your eyes.
As disturbing as it is, here’s how he saw them die:
•one was stabbed to death
•one bled to death beside him when they rolled their vehicle
•one was shot
•one was hung when they got jumped at a guy’s house
Think about this: Why in the hell are we obsessed with calories, weight, our appearance, how people see us, how life is inconvenient, how people annoy us, when we should be appreciating the fact that we’re even alive. Because some people don’t live to the age of 20. Some people don’t get the chance we do.
I didn’t even know what to say. What are my problems? I don't know if I want to be an engineer, my parents sometimes get on my nerves, I eat too much junk food... Those things don’t even compare. To me, they seem ridiculous in comparison to the death of loved ones, especially in front of your eyes.
As disturbing as it is, here’s how he saw them die:
•one was stabbed to death
•one bled to death beside him when they rolled their vehicle
•one was shot
•one was hung when they got jumped at a guy’s house
Think about this: Why in the hell are we obsessed with calories, weight, our appearance, how people see us, how life is inconvenient, how people annoy us, when we should be appreciating the fact that we’re even alive. Because some people don’t live to the age of 20. Some people don’t get the chance we do.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
So my birthday is coming up in about a week and a half.
Basically for my birthday this year, I would like you all to treat yourselves to something fun and wonderful that you've been wanting for a long time. Guilt-free!
That is, if you were going to get me anything to begin with. Haha.
I have everything I want in life. I don't need anything right now.
You are all beautiful, wonderful people and you deserve to treat yourself :)
P.S. Amanda is exempt since she already bought me a wonderful Lulu Lemon yogi-toes towel :)
<3 <3
Basically for my birthday this year, I would like you all to treat yourselves to something fun and wonderful that you've been wanting for a long time. Guilt-free!
That is, if you were going to get me anything to begin with. Haha.
I have everything I want in life. I don't need anything right now.
You are all beautiful, wonderful people and you deserve to treat yourself :)
P.S. Amanda is exempt since she already bought me a wonderful Lulu Lemon yogi-toes towel :)
<3 <3
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Here is last night summed up in a few points:
P.S. I slept at Tabitha's last night... (I didn't think the father and mother would approve of this story...)
- I saw Josh, the guy I met at Central Music Festival, at the vietnamese food place at lunchtime, so I went to say hi and he got my phone number
- He asked me to come over and watch a movie, so I said what the hay and went after Yin Yoga
- I met his parents and they were really cute and also doing home renos (I realize I have an odd infatuation with older people)
- His DVD player didn't work so we watched TV instead, and then his friends said they were going to be bouncers at a party so Josh offered me to chauffeur and I said, what the hay and did it
- We picked up his 2 friends (Taylor and Laine) and went to a 16 year old girl's party which smelt of booze, weed, and cigarette smoke and the party goers looked like they were 12
- We left after maybe 10 minutes because apparently crazy gang people were there. Haha. Taylor and Laine are apparently fighters and like to fight people at bars so they know all this gang crap
- We went back to Laine's home, and were planning to go out to a club because Laine 'wanted to get laid'. The 3 of them continued drinking while I stayed sober because I wanted to drive home after
- After about an hour of them drinking and me not drinking, I got really bored and realized how dumb they all are and how immature they are but yet how ridiculous and funny they are.
- They started to talk about not going to the club, so I started to get my drank on.
- A few other guys showed up at the house and they hung out for a bit
- Josh, Taylor, and Laine decided to get their wrestle on (which is where that picture was from last night)
- 4 beers in about one and a half hours for me and then the party was pretty much over (for everyone, not just me)
- We watched part of the Expendables movie, and then I fell asleep on the couch.
P.S. I slept at Tabitha's last night... (I didn't think the father and mother would approve of this story...)
Friday, August 19, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Press play and read the post.
Today, I feel in love with the world.
Like nothing can go wrong.
I feel powerful because of this feeling.
Nothing can phase me.
I choose my fate.
I can dwell on the past, or I can just move passed it and live in the now.
Now is the time of my life.
Now is the time when I'm young with no commitments.
Take advantage of the freedom you have.
Go capture the things you've been chasing.
Forget your insecurities.
Forget your worries.
Take a step outside, smell the fresh air, and say 'I'm beautiful. I'm happy. I'm confident. Nothing in the world can stop me from being the best I can be.'
What's meant to be is what is meant to be.
No regrets. Each step of the way has it's challenges. But as far as you get pushed back, push back twice as hard and twice as fast and come out victorious. On top of the world.
Don't give up on yourself.
The hardest times of your life can make you so much stronger.
Fill your lungs, scream, and take a plunge.
Because the only way you can grow is if you live.
Don't just exist, LIVE.
Today, I feel in love with the world.
Like nothing can go wrong.
I feel powerful because of this feeling.
Nothing can phase me.
I choose my fate.
I can dwell on the past, or I can just move passed it and live in the now.
Now is the time of my life.
Now is the time when I'm young with no commitments.
Take advantage of the freedom you have.
Go capture the things you've been chasing.
Forget your insecurities.
Forget your worries.
Take a step outside, smell the fresh air, and say 'I'm beautiful. I'm happy. I'm confident. Nothing in the world can stop me from being the best I can be.'
What's meant to be is what is meant to be.
No regrets. Each step of the way has it's challenges. But as far as you get pushed back, push back twice as hard and twice as fast and come out victorious. On top of the world.
Don't give up on yourself.
The hardest times of your life can make you so much stronger.
Fill your lungs, scream, and take a plunge.
Because the only way you can grow is if you live.
Don't just exist, LIVE.
Amazingly, today I feel so incredibly relaxed. I woke up this morning at around 6:15 a.m. and debated whether or not to work out.
My piece of advice for you? Don't debate, just go do it. Even if it doesn't feel worth it when you're trying to get out of bed, it'll feel worth it when you finish your workout.
My endorphin rush was amazing this morning. I spent 50 minutes this morning purely focusing on abs and arms. No cardio, just strength and endurance training. Amazing. I can feel the change in my body even if I can't see it. My body feels stronger and happier.
I have 3 weeks until back to school. 2 weeks of work (and by work, I really mean totally slacking off). One week of moving, relaxing, and hiking in Banff. I miss my life in Edmonton. I miss being independent, I miss Rachelle, I miss going to school, I miss the Edmonton atmosphere.
I can't wait to move back.
My piece of advice for you? Don't debate, just go do it. Even if it doesn't feel worth it when you're trying to get out of bed, it'll feel worth it when you finish your workout.
My endorphin rush was amazing this morning. I spent 50 minutes this morning purely focusing on abs and arms. No cardio, just strength and endurance training. Amazing. I can feel the change in my body even if I can't see it. My body feels stronger and happier.
I have 3 weeks until back to school. 2 weeks of work (and by work, I really mean totally slacking off). One week of moving, relaxing, and hiking in Banff. I miss my life in Edmonton. I miss being independent, I miss Rachelle, I miss going to school, I miss the Edmonton atmosphere.
I can't wait to move back.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
5 Things I have changed about myself in the last year:
1. More confident
2. Work out more often
3. Eat more fruits and veggies
4. Lacto-ovo pescetarian
5. More open to talking to people I don't know
5 Things I want to change:
1. Less negative thoughts about people
2. Eat less junk food
3. Stop relying on boys for attention and self-worth
4. Start cooking more frequently
5. Clean my clutter more frequently
5 Things I'm happy about in myself:
1. My hair
2. How I go out of my way to help people if they seem like they need it
3. My ability to cut awesome slices of cucumber
4. My dedication for things
5. My ability to make people laugh
5 Words I would use to describe myself:
1. Friendly
2. Nice
3. Funny
4. Sarcastic
5. Crazy
5 Accomplishments that I'm proud of:
1. Running the Terry Fox Run
2. Getting my lazy bum out of bed to work out almost every day of the week
3. Getting a 3.9 GPA
4. Passing my ARCT exam
5. Not giving in to peer pressure to be a druggy and/or smoker
5 Things I would like to do before I die:
1. Do a triathlon
2. Climb Mount Everest
3. Move to Australia to work
4. Get married
5. Make a difference in the world
5 Favorite Foods:
1. Pineapple
2. Fibre 1 Honey Cluster Cereal
3. Biscuits at Red Lobster
4. Poutine
5. Pizza
5 Inspirational Quotes:
1. Don't make excuses, make changes.
2. Unless You Puke, Faint or Die, Keep Going!
3. You can't change your beginning, but you CAN change your ending.
4. Never let success get to your head, never let failure get to your heart.
5. Be confident. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren't. Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept everything you are- and aren't- that you will truly succeed.
1. More confident
2. Work out more often
3. Eat more fruits and veggies
4. Lacto-ovo pescetarian
5. More open to talking to people I don't know
5 Things I want to change:
1. Less negative thoughts about people
2. Eat less junk food
3. Stop relying on boys for attention and self-worth
4. Start cooking more frequently
5. Clean my clutter more frequently
5 Things I'm happy about in myself:
1. My hair
2. How I go out of my way to help people if they seem like they need it
3. My ability to cut awesome slices of cucumber
4. My dedication for things
5. My ability to make people laugh
5 Words I would use to describe myself:
1. Friendly
2. Nice
3. Funny
4. Sarcastic
5. Crazy
5 Accomplishments that I'm proud of:
1. Running the Terry Fox Run
2. Getting my lazy bum out of bed to work out almost every day of the week
3. Getting a 3.9 GPA
4. Passing my ARCT exam
5. Not giving in to peer pressure to be a druggy and/or smoker
5 Things I would like to do before I die:
1. Do a triathlon
2. Climb Mount Everest
3. Move to Australia to work
4. Get married
5. Make a difference in the world
5 Favorite Foods:
1. Pineapple
2. Fibre 1 Honey Cluster Cereal
3. Biscuits at Red Lobster
4. Poutine
5. Pizza
5 Inspirational Quotes:
1. Don't make excuses, make changes.
2. Unless You Puke, Faint or Die, Keep Going!
3. You can't change your beginning, but you CAN change your ending.
4. Never let success get to your head, never let failure get to your heart.
5. Be confident. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren't. Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept everything you are- and aren't- that you will truly succeed.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Silly parents. Harshing my mellow. As Rina would put it. Haha.
I feel sad. I miss the musical festival already. I met so many great people.
They welcomed me with open arms, and I talked to people I wouldn't normally think of approaching.
I felt free. This is what I'm meant to do. I'm meant to meet people, hang out with them and chill out.
I need to meet people. I love learning about people and what kind of crazy things they do.
This was one of the best weekends I have ever had. Everything felt right. Everything feels good right now.
I opened up to a lot of people. I can't even imagine having done this a year ago. I would have sat by myself and done nothing except smile at a few people. What a difference.
Breaking up with Zach was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I think I was reserved because I knew I had one person to depend on already that I didn't need to make new friends. Now I take every chance I have to make friends. I feel confident in myself.
I felt this a strange feeling that I couldn't put a name to while I was driving home today after 3 long days of festival.
I've got the word now:
SATISFIED
I feel sad. I miss the musical festival already. I met so many great people.
They welcomed me with open arms, and I talked to people I wouldn't normally think of approaching.
I felt free. This is what I'm meant to do. I'm meant to meet people, hang out with them and chill out.
I need to meet people. I love learning about people and what kind of crazy things they do.
This was one of the best weekends I have ever had. Everything felt right. Everything feels good right now.
I opened up to a lot of people. I can't even imagine having done this a year ago. I would have sat by myself and done nothing except smile at a few people. What a difference.
Breaking up with Zach was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I think I was reserved because I knew I had one person to depend on already that I didn't need to make new friends. Now I take every chance I have to make friends. I feel confident in myself.
I felt this a strange feeling that I couldn't put a name to while I was driving home today after 3 long days of festival.
I've got the word now:
SATISFIED
Sometimes I hate being a girl.
I was cleaning up after the festival, pulling big metal rods out of the ground that fencing had been draped on, and some guys came over and were like 'Leave them! We got it!' Like I'm some skinny little girl with no muscles or something. Ugh. I want to show off my muscles tooo!!!
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry
I was cleaning up after the festival, pulling big metal rods out of the ground that fencing had been draped on, and some guys came over and were like 'Leave them! We got it!' Like I'm some skinny little girl with no muscles or something. Ugh. I want to show off my muscles tooo!!!
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry
Friday, August 12, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
10 things about me:
1. I like staying up late at night so I can feel peace and quiet like I'm living alone.
2. I am rude to people I first meet so I won't have a reason to be sad if they don't like me.
3. I feel like a failure when I don't do something physically active every day of the week if I have time.
4. I haven't had coffee in over 2 months.
5. My favorite part of myself is my hair.
6. I love being single and not committed but I still miss having that dependable person to do things with.
7. I am a vegetable-arian. I love my veggies.
8. Whenever I look at food labels, the first thing I look at is the fibre content. Low fibre = not interested.
9. I love watching Jersey Shore and the Real World. MTV makes my life better.
10. I wish I could live somewhere where it was summer all year round. Shorts, dresses, and sunnies would be amazing.
1. I like staying up late at night so I can feel peace and quiet like I'm living alone.
2. I am rude to people I first meet so I won't have a reason to be sad if they don't like me.
3. I feel like a failure when I don't do something physically active every day of the week if I have time.
4. I haven't had coffee in over 2 months.
5. My favorite part of myself is my hair.
6. I love being single and not committed but I still miss having that dependable person to do things with.
7. I am a vegetable-arian. I love my veggies.
8. Whenever I look at food labels, the first thing I look at is the fibre content. Low fibre = not interested.
9. I love watching Jersey Shore and the Real World. MTV makes my life better.
10. I wish I could live somewhere where it was summer all year round. Shorts, dresses, and sunnies would be amazing.
Giant Pet Peeve:
Banana Noise
People dissing on other people's music
Gosh. People listen to the music that feels right to them. It's a personal choice, just like clothing or how you do your hair or what you do in your free time. Judging it is just like making fun of someone who wears bad clothes. It's still as insulting as anything else you can comment on, and I don't understand the need for it. People just need to be more accepting of each other and stop judging.
Just because Justin Bieber is famous does not give you any right to hate on him. He didn't do anything to you. Hate his music, hate his clothes, whatever, he's not going to care, but if you attack him as an individual and as a person, he's probably going to be insulted. He isn't some 'robot created by Disney', he's a person, who works hard and sings hard to be famous. Sure, I don't really like his music, but I can definitely appreciate the fact that he works hard everyday to be where he is.
Banana Noise
People dissing on other people's music
Gosh. People listen to the music that feels right to them. It's a personal choice, just like clothing or how you do your hair or what you do in your free time. Judging it is just like making fun of someone who wears bad clothes. It's still as insulting as anything else you can comment on, and I don't understand the need for it. People just need to be more accepting of each other and stop judging.
Just because Justin Bieber is famous does not give you any right to hate on him. He didn't do anything to you. Hate his music, hate his clothes, whatever, he's not going to care, but if you attack him as an individual and as a person, he's probably going to be insulted. He isn't some 'robot created by Disney', he's a person, who works hard and sings hard to be famous. Sure, I don't really like his music, but I can definitely appreciate the fact that he works hard everyday to be where he is.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Even though I screwed up on Friday and felt miserable on Saturday and part of Sunday, I realize that I'm only 20 years old. I'm allowed to have fun, drink too much, and kiss boys that I wanna kiss. Even though having a friend, well I was hoping just a friend but apparently it was more, like Mike would have been fun, I dont think it would have worked out in the end. There's too much of an age difference. He would have wanted commitment, to fall in love, to be happy, while I want to kiss boys, fish the waters, and have fun, whatever that ends up being. What the guys I've been hanging out with don't seem to realize is that I'm young. I don't want to be in a relationship. I want to casually see people and act my age, and if in the end, we end up falling for each other, it happens. I don't want to date people and be committed because I've done that already. I know what it feels like and I don't want that for a long time. Commitment isn't for me... yet.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
My mind couldn't be more clear right now.
Had some iyengar hot yoga, cleared my mind, calmed my breath, and I'm ready to rock and roll for the week.
Here's the schedule:
Monday- work out, work, home & dinner, yoga, phone call with rachelle.
Tuesday- work, yoga maybe, orientation for central alberta music fest.
Wednesday- work out, work, home & dinner, yoga, sleep
Thursday- work (farm tour), yoga, home & cleaning
Friday- volunteer, time off to myself, Volunteering all weekend at Central Alberta Music Festival
Had some iyengar hot yoga, cleared my mind, calmed my breath, and I'm ready to rock and roll for the week.
Here's the schedule:
Monday- work out, work, home & dinner, yoga, phone call with rachelle.
Tuesday- work, yoga maybe, orientation for central alberta music fest.
Wednesday- work out, work, home & dinner, yoga, sleep
Thursday- work (farm tour), yoga, home & cleaning
Friday- volunteer, time off to myself, Volunteering all weekend at Central Alberta Music Festival
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
