Even though I screwed up on Friday and felt miserable on Saturday and part of Sunday, I realize that I'm only 20 years old. I'm allowed to have fun, drink too much, and kiss boys that I wanna kiss. Even though having a friend, well I was hoping just a friend but apparently it was more, like Mike would have been fun, I dont think it would have worked out in the end. There's too much of an age difference. He would have wanted commitment, to fall in love, to be happy, while I want to kiss boys, fish the waters, and have fun, whatever that ends up being. What the guys I've been hanging out with don't seem to realize is that I'm young. I don't want to be in a relationship. I want to casually see people and act my age, and if in the end, we end up falling for each other, it happens. I don't want to date people and be committed because I've done that already. I know what it feels like and I don't want that for a long time. Commitment isn't for me... yet.