day 5 - a time you thought about ending your own life.

I can honesly say that there has never been a time where I have seriously considered ending my life. I have thought about what would happen if I did end it, but I know for a fact I would never do that. There are times where I feel extremely depressed and sad and as if nothing will get better, but deep inside, I am an optimist. I feel the despair, but I know that in the end, it will work out. It always has. I think the saddest I ever felt was when I got 52% on my midterm in first year. It was such a hard thing to deal with, considering I had it easy in high school and in first semester, and then in second semester I had to deal with the consequences of not going to class and not doing my homework. All my life I have been good at pretty much everything, and to realize that I'm not perfect is such a hard thing to do. Suddenly everything seemed different. I wasn't untouchable, but in the end I recovered, and I have been dealing with life in a more realistic way. There is so much still to live for, other than school or work or success in your career, and I know that if I just push through this hard stuff, there will be so much more to live for later on in life.