Goddammittttttt.
So I sent Josh a text saying "I can't do this anymore".
And he sent "Do what anymore?"
And then he called me.
And there began a phone conversation that made me go from SO DONE to OH MY GOSH WHAT A SWEETIE.
Phone conversation was a 100% turnaround from texting conversation. He was so easy to talk to and admitted that he is horrible about texting. I told him I didn't like the fact that he doesn't ever ask me about how my day was and how he doesn't ask me about my life. And basically told him all the reasons why I didn't feel like this relationshit was going anywhere.
And he gave me an out. An easy out. Saying all I have to say is I'm done, and we're done. But I couldn't do it.
There's this feeling inside of me that feels like this is different somehow. I mean, as much as I say I don't like him, I do. And I know it's really stupid, but for some reason, I feel like there's something special between us. There's a reason we randomly ran into each other at a restaurant I NEVER go to the day after the music festival.
And there's something that just feels right when we talk or hang out. It just feels normal. Like two puzzle pieces that fit together.
I think the whole thing about this before today was that I was scared to let my heart get the best of me like it did before.
But I'm smarter now. I've confronted him about what I find wrong about how we interact if we're 'together' and that's not something I would have done two years ago.
I don't care if I'm demanding too much. I deserve to be a treated like a princess. Haha. I sure say that a lot.
I know what you're thinking. The usual "Oh Sarah..." but I'm going to give this a week or two and see how it goes. We agreed to do skype conversations. So I'm going to play it by ear.
I'm not getting my hopes up, but the fact that he is willing to try so hard to make this thing work really tugs on my heart strings. I want this to work, but I need to keep things realistic and realize that although he is telling me what I want to hear, things aren't going to keep going if he doesn't follow through.