Why is it that men and women continue to hurt themselves in relationships?
I mean, say a girl's boyfriend cheats on her, and takes him back.
Is it really okay to trust him again when he says, oh! I won't do it again. I'm sorry. Blah blah blah.
Isn't that the same as when a child steals and gets caught by his/her parent and makes sure that next time, he is more careful about it?
I just read about Jesse James cheating on Kat von D.
Is it really true that cheaters will always be cheaters?
Or is it possible that people can control their animalistic behaviors and be monogamist?
I honestly don't know what to think. I've been there. I've cheated on my boyfriend. More than once.
And I'd like to think that I can be faithful to my significant other next time I have a committed relationship, but I also have come to accept the fact that I will always have crushes on other guys when I have a boyfriend.
It's just what comes naturally to me. I look at cute boys all the time, no matter what, and I flirt with them, no matter what. It's part of who I am. So is it part of life to learn to control these instincts and stay committed even if it takes all the will power I have? I don't even know.
Life is a one time deal. Carpe diem they say, so does seizing the day mean having that one night stand even though you have a significant other, or does it mean staying committed to let the first relationship flourish?
Is it really possible to go through life without cheating on your partner? I mean, what people classify as cheating goes from kissing, emotional cheating, sexing someone else, or even just texting someone else. It seems silly to me to think that everyone is able to love only that one person forever.
Is that the reason that 50% or more of marriages end in divorce now? It has become socially acceptable to divorce your spouse, when back in the day, divorce rate was minimal and divorce was taboo. Now that it's more socially acceptable, people aren't sticking through horrible marriages just so that they stay married? Or is it actually that people are getting married before they're ready or before they have a chance to find the 'love of their life'.
I've become one of those people who say that marriage is just a piece of paper. I feel like every relationship comes to an end. People change and interests change, and I think it's part of life to move on and explore something different.
As much as I want to believe that I'll die together with my future husband, I don't really think that's going to happen.
I've become a cynic, but what that really means to me is that I've come to accept reality.
Optimism still surrounds my thoughts, but lurking behind is the idea that not all positive things are reality. You can't go from an abusive relationship to a picture perfect couple. It just isn't going to happen, but the optimism is knowing that once that relationship ends, maybe both ends can heal, separately.
Relationships are crazy things. People give up so much of themselves to be in them sometimes, and devote their hearts to people who will never change if they never get caught. Why is it that girls think their boyfriends will suddenly stop partying so much and stay in and watch chick flicks with them. Or boyfriends who think their girlfriend will suddenly stop flirting with her guy friends? It's a game of torture that I see couples go through all the time.
Why is it that we torture ourselves when there are billions of other desirable mates out there? Is it that we believe the best in others? Or is it the comfort of being in that despair? To know that on Saturday night when he was supposed to come over for dinner and a movie, he skipped out, never texted you, and ended up getting drunk and 'sleeping over' at a girl's house? Or to know that she was just 'hanging out' at her friend's house and didn't have time to text you... ALL NIGHT.
It's that gut feeling that's there. People know when they're being cheated on. Sometimes friends tell that girl/guy that they're being cheated on, yet they choose not to believe it, when deep down, they know it's true. Why do we do that to ourselves?
It seems silly, but maybe it's just the cynic in me.
I want to believe in relationships and monogamy and happiness from those, but I can't. It just isn't a person to be faithful. We cheat for the thrill, we cheat for the fun, we cheat so that we can experience something new. After all, isn't that what life's about?