BOYS.
Such a huge part of my year.
My year started off with me in a 2 plus some relationship with Zach.
It was awful. He was useless, played WoW for too long, didn't appreciate me, etc.
I basically considered myself done with him in early April, but we didn't officially end things until I moved out of the apartment for summer at the end of the month.
Then came a barrage of boys.
I would go out drinking and dancing and find a guy to make out with just for the heck of it. Which I would say I needed. After being with Zach for so long, it was time to be young and stupid. And so I did just that.
I made out with Steve and Evan from work, but those never went anywhere although I did like Evan for a little while.
Then there was Bret. He was such a nice guy when we were one on one but then whenever other people were around, he was kind of a douchebag to them. Obviously he lacked social skills. Plus he was really clingy and overly sensitive. He always talked about how fat he was even though he was ridiculously skinny, and I've found that through all my insecurities, I cannot date anyone with a low self-esteem. I can't be the foundation that people sit upon. I'm strong, but only strong enough to hold myself up.
And then there were the Stantec boys. Mike was the guy that took me out on a date to Cowboys and Aliens and then we came back to my place, drank a beer and chatted for hours. He gave me a goodnight kiss and that was the end of that. He invited me to go horseback riding but the night before was Doug's birthday party and I ended up not just kissing Doug that night, but Mike and another guy that also worked at Stantec.
HAHA. If I worked at Stantec, they would have labeled me the 'office slut'. I was super drunk that night and had an epiphany the next day about boys and life.
The week after that party, I isolated myself from people and just took time for myself, and that's when I realized I needed to concentrate on myself more and stop paying so much attention to gaining the interest of boys.
So for the rest of the summer, things were pretty good. I don't think I messed around with too many other people. And if I did, I certainly don't remember them.
Until Josh came around. Central Alberta Music Festival. 2 weeks before I was leaving to Edmonton, I had the best weekend of my summer. I got to hang out outside, chat with new people about their lives, eat food out of trucks, and I partied with people in a band! Josh was Rina's boyfriend's bandmate's friend. And I couldn't help but be attracted to him because he just oozed confidence and was super cute.
Friday night, I went and drank with some of Rina's friends, and Josh was hanging out around the fire too.
I saw this happen: Brooke (a girl that Josh went to school with): "OMG! My hands are so cold. Josh, feel them!"
CLASSIC MOVE. Josh held her hand. Haha. And Brooke had a smug little grin on her face.
Anyways, Josh gave me free booze all night, and then I had to pee so I wandered off to the outhouses, then to someone else's fire to socialize with them, since I'd talked to them earlier to get materials to make fire. Guess who was there? Josh. Haha. That was when he started flirting with me. First he put his arm around me, then he tried to hold my hand. And I was said to myself, what the hell, why not? One night. So we walked back to our own little party together, when he 'tripped and fell down' and proceeded to pull me down with him. Hello make out session. And that's how the rest of the night went down. Drinking, kissing, sleeping.
We sort of hung out for the rest of the weekend, but I was busy with my own things, and so was he. But he kept making an effort to come find me and sit and talk to me. Sunday afternoon, the festival was wrapping up, and I was just sitting and watching the last musicians, and he came and sat down and we had a really nice conversation. And then everything ended. He tried to get my phone number by tapping his phone on my leg, etc. but I wasn't going to give it to him unless he asked. He didn't and so we parted ways and I was happy. No drama, got to hang out with a boy for a weekend and then forget about it.
Think again. 5 days later, I went to lunch with some co-workers at the Vietnamese place, and Josh was there coincidentally. I went over to say hi to him, and that's when he got my phone number. We hung out that night and that's when it all started. I really like him and still try to see him when I can. I just don't know if we have enough intellectual conversation to really connect. A lot of our relationship revolves around our physical attraction to one another I think. But for right now, that's enough for me.
Flash forward to late November. Went to scuba on Friday night, then out for drinks with my instructors, then off to Whyte to go to O'byrnes with Shane. We drank by ourselves for a while, then moved to the bar, and that's when Jay started talking to me about Vietnamese food. He was a pretty nice guy and by then, mine and Shane's conversation had come to a standstill, so I just started talking to him. He was super fun, and I love learning about new people. About an hour into our conversation, prof guy came around and I started talking to him as well. The conversation was easy and random and fun. Witty banter here and there, and then I started talking about The League. Somehow talking about that show seems to make me cool in the eyes of men. Shane got kicked out by drinking too much and being drunk, and prof guy, Jay, and I went back to prof guy's house to watch The League. By that point, I was ready to pass out but tried to stay awake, but eventually just went to sleep at prof guy's house. Boy was that cab ride awkward the next morning.
"Okay... I guess I'll talk to you later.." "Uh... Sure..." Things like that.
But I was intrigued enough and apparently so was he, because we started texting a lot about things that were actually thought-provoking, and now I'm still hanging out with him.

What I've learned through all of this? Don't miss out on opportunities with people by getting involved in a serious relationship unless you're sure that your heart doesn't want anyone else. Also, don't let boys restrict the way you dress, act, or feel. Who cares if they don't like your outfit? Who cares if they don't like you? There are a million people out there who would think differently. Be confident, and enjoy being you. I've spent too much of my life being someone else for someone, and now it's time to be me and to find those who appreciate me for who I truly am.
I was texting Josh last night and asked him why he likes me and he said "I love your crazy personality, you always make me laugh, and you accept me as who I am."
Funny thing is I said the exact same thing back to him before when he asked me, but in different words. The thing is, we get each other. We know we're weirdos and it's funny. That's what I need. Someone who just sort of gets me.