I think it's times like these where I debate whether or not to continue the way I've been living my life.
I felt so carefree. So happy.
Now everything is starting to not seem so happy. Things are starting to break down in my head and are slowly making me more and more tired and weary of this life that I've been living.
Why is it that I go to school for engineering when I can't see myself in a career as one. And why do I continue to play around with several guys when in reality, I don't know if I want any of them.
Tonight I talked about my relationship with Zach to prof guy and it made me want to bawl my eyes out. I'd never really gone in depth as to why it didn't work out, and finally talking about it made me extremely sad.
I've become dependent on other people. To feel self-worth, when in reality, self-worth should come from myself. Although I am happy to spend time alone and I continually love myself, I can't help but to feel unloved until someone else takes interest in me.
Why is it that I have such a hard time being independent, when I know that's what I really need the most?
My life is a mess. I'm happy in it... Well mostly, but for some reason, I feel a hole. Something is missing and I need to fill that void.
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