Here's the thing about prof guy.
Sometimes we hang out and it is wonderfully fun and awesome.
Other times we hang out and all I want to do is knock his teeth out.
Those awesome times make it worth it.
And those horrible times make me want to stop this whole thing.
I'm done with drama in relationships.
I'm done with fighting about stupid things.
I'm done with crying about a boy.
The reason that we sometimes butt heads is that we're both super stubborn and I'm accustomed to always being right (which I am) haha.
He puts up a really good fight though and I'm pretty sure he's actually more bent on being right than I am, and usually when I'm just sick of fighting, he's ready for round two.
I'm used to pushovers and non-whiny people that I can manipulate and have the upper hand with, and he's not one of those people.
I don't need him to be one, but I need him to fight less. I think it might be a bit of the age thing, that he feels like he knows more just because he is older. It's getting to me, and I'm not sure if I want to deal with it anymore.
Like yesterday, he came over for like 20 minutes. I invited him to my apartment just to see him quickly because I won't get to see him again until probably Sunday (if I decide to see him on Sunday which is looking not so good right now). He came over and just acted awkward and distant the whole time, like he didn't really want to be here, and that he wasn't really pleased that he HAD to be here. So I didn't know what to do, I wanted to go for a walk so I decided to make him go for a walk with me, and all he did was complain. Although he only made like 2 comments about it being cold or that he was freezing his butt off, his body language was 100% "ugh, I'm so annoyed". So we were by Wes' house and I left my booze there so I decided to pick it up since we were close by, and then I called her and grabbed it, but apparently, I 'put my hand up' and 'shunned' him so he didn't know what to do. From then on, he was like super annoyed by me, so our walk was like 2 minutes (I exaggerate, it was more like 5). And then we were walking back up the stairs in my apartment, and he was like, well I think I'm gonna go. And I was like fine, whatever, because at that point I was just done. Done with the idea of even seeing him. Since when is a 34 year old man so sensitive and whiny? They're supposed to have learned to deal by now. And then he was like annoyed because I just kind of walked up the stairs without saying goodbye or anything due to my frustration, so I told him exactly why I was frustrated and he just stood there with nothing to say. So we just said, no drama, we'll just get past it.
So... then he texted me, and said that he 'felt uncomfortable and was nervous about coming over', so I asked why, and he said he'd explain over the phone.
So he called me, and proceeded to say that basically it was my fault for 'shunning' him when I went to get my booze. Why did he feel uncomfortable? Guess what? He didn't have a reason.. he just... did. SO FRUSTRATING! So we basically argued about how it was his fault for being so distant and unwilling to participate in a walk with me, while he complained that it was my fault for shunning him, and I get where he's coming from, but when you're already acting like a dickwad, I'm not going to pay attention to you. And he did not, absolutely did not accept the fact that part of it was his fault for being so annoyed and awkward the whole time. By the end of the phone conversation, we'd moved on though, and he seems to think I really like him. I mean, I like him, but I can't say I really like him, not after yesterday.
He also said that things are progressing really fast. LIKE WTF. We've hung out a few times and had fun. I don't think that's out of the ordinary...
Oh well. I'll just mostly ignore him for like, the next week or so, and then after that, I'll see if I even care that he isn't part of my life. If yes, then I'll make an effort to see him. If no, I'm just going to end it.

And then finally, let me just say that I absolutely like Josh A LOT. I know it's silly because I've barely hung out with him, and I haven't seen him in over a month, but I talk to him on skype every once in a while and he is just silly and cute and fun, and I feel really relaxed when I talk to him, because I know he isn't judging me, and he isn't taking anything too seriously. And I'm so excited to see him. I can't wait to see him.
That's the thing, prof guy takes shit wayyyy to seriously, and it's not like he says anything about it, but I can feel it. Like you know when someone has a really negative aura, and it just rubs off on you, that's exactly how it feels every time he gets annoyed or whatever it is. And I am influenced by these moods so much. I always have been. It's frustrating to be so serious all the time. I just want to have fun, and he overreacts at way to much. Maybe I do too, but I get over it pretty quickly, but he dwells. He says he doesn't, but he definitely does.

December 23rd. I get to go home and have a break from this Edmonton life. Well I feel like my break starts on Friday when I finish exams. But I get to see Josh on the 23rd, Bretton and Layla hopefully on the 24th, and of course I'm super excited to see the family on the 23rd!

Side note, I screwed myself over on this exam today. I had all day yesterday to study, but procrastinated until about 9:30 last night to study, and I don't feel prepared at all. It's not going to be the greatest exam, let me just say that.